


Snakeskin

by wewillalwaysenduphere



Series: The Hamilton Challenge: The Other 51 [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aaron reads erotica to Alex, Character Study, Experimental, F/M, Laurens & Eliza are only side relationships, M/M, Poetry, rupi kaur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 22:23:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12220155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wewillalwaysenduphere/pseuds/wewillalwaysenduphere
Summary: Aaron is the quiet that calms Alex’s wild mind, Aaron is the empty space he needs to lay out all the ideas floating in his mind. Aaron is the perfect other half Alex had never dared to hope for, and Aaron is at his side. Reading to him about men that were bigger than them and just like them, and Alexander wonders who he would turn out to be – Patroclus or Achilles.Patroclus died first.





	Snakeskin

**Author's Note:**

> All the interludes in italics are Rupi Kaur poems, the title is the reference to another poem I didn't include. This is definitely not my usual style, I wanted to try something and reading Milk and Honey really moved me and I had to think of Hamburr so often...I just decided to do this :)  
> Have fun :)

_every revolution_  
_starts and ends_  
_with his lips_

 

Alex is helpless, and he hates it, every minute of it. _Pardon me_ , he’d said, _are you Aaron Burr, sir?_

And it should be easy to hate Burr (Aaron), it should be easy to be jealous and despise him for the easy start he had in life – you only made it through Princeton because your father used to be the director – it should be easy to forget about him.

Why fight for someone’s approval when so many others gave it so freely? Why waste his time getting into one man’s good graces when others were already fighting to get into his?

But Alex had never forgotten his youth, and he had never learned to accept things just given to him – had never had the chance to learn – so now, he still wants to fight for it. What is the worth of something he didn’t work for? Is it even worth anything?

Aaron doesn’t hate him. He doesn’t even dislike him. He just didn’t take him seriously the first time they met. But Alex changed that. He knew he could, so he did, and now he looks into Aaron’s eyes, realizes the man is smaller than him for the first time. He seems taller than he is.

 

_nothing is safer_  
_than the sound of you_  
_reading out loud to me_

 

The nightmares still come for him, every night, merciless. They haunt him, they chase him, they always catch up with him. They tear him apart with their fangs and claws until his soft insides are spilled all over the pavement.

That’s when Aaron wakes him, wraps his arm around him, presses kiss to his hair, whispers reassurances into his ear. They are on the verge of war, but Aaron is here, Aaron is holding him. Aaron keeps the dreams and the demons at bay. Aaron does that for him, every night, and he never pushes, never judges, only listens when Alex decides to share.

Aaron is the quiet that calms Alex’s wild mind, Aaron is the empty space he needs to lay out all the ideas floating in his mind. Aaron is the perfect other half Alex had never dared to hope for, and Aaron is at his side. Reading to him about men that were bigger than them and just like them, and Alexander wonders who he would turn out to be – Patroclus or Achilles.

Patroclus died first.

 

_you are the faint line_  
_between faith and_  
_blindly waiting_

 

_If you love this woman, go get her_ , he says, knowing full well Aaron doesn’t want to marry her. They had been fine, just the two of them, at least for some time. But Alexander is always hungry, always starving, for food, for fame, for affection.

Laurens offered it freely, and so did Eliza. The difference between Laurens, Aaron and Eliza is that Eliza, he can marry. He can talk about his love freely, doesn’t have to limit himself to clandestine meetings and ambiguous phrasing in letters. There is also the Schuyler clan, money, safety, concerns neither Aaron nor Laurens could ever understand given their background.

Alex came from nothing, and the fear he might go back to that is overwhelming. He can’t risk it, not now, not when he’s so close to everything, when he made his way into society.

Not when so many people are finally realizing what he could be, how much potential he has. He knew he hurt Aaron, hurt Laurens, but he didn’t have a choice. Marrying Eliza makes him happy, for the most part. He loves her.

Love is not yes or no, love is not on or off. Love is not exclusive. Alex’s heart is big enough for more than one person, but he can understand why they can’t understand.

 

_the very thought of you_  
_has my legs spread apart_  
_like an easel with a canvas_  
_begging for art_

 

Aaron should not be reading these things to him, Alex thinks. They are married men. They are working together, and that should be it. _That should be it._

But Aaron is reading these things to him, and he’s hot, his skin is too small, his clothes are itching. Aaron is sitting across from him, in front of his desk, it’s all decent. Aaron is so put together, looks perfectly calm while he says words that travel the distance between them and slip into Alex’s mouth, into his ears, caress his skin.

He shifts in his seat, presses his legs together, ignores the heat between them. The pulsing. The hardness.

_Do you want me to stop?_ Aaron’s eyes are so dark.

_No, no. Go on. Please._

 

_you’ve touched me_  
_without even_  
_touching me_

 

Aaron goes home after. After all these ideas, these suggestions, these things that remind Alex of what they had done before – Aaron gets up and goes home, wishes him a good night.

Alex could go home too. It is a good idea, a proper idea, a responsible idea. But he doesn’t. Instead, he sneaks his hand into his trousers, remembers Aaron’s voice, imagines honey the colour of mahogany wood sliding over his skin, because that’s what Aaron’s voice feels like. What every part of Aaron feels like.

Imagines Aaron saying what he needs to hear.

 

_You move my hand_  
_between my legs_  
_and whisper_  
_make those pretty little fingers dance for me_

 

Alex does.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, please leave kudos & comments :)


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